How to Start Living Authentically and Let Go of the Need to Please
For as long as I can remember, I lived my life with a constant need to please others. I wanted to be liked, accepted, and admired. The thought of disappointing someone or not meeting their expectations would weigh on me. I’d say yes when I meant no, compromise my values to fit in, and hold back my true opinions just to avoid conflict. It wasn’t that I didn’t have a voice—I was just afraid to use it.
But living like this, constantly adjusting who I was for others, eventually left me feeling exhausted and disconnected from myself. I wasn’t being true to who I was; I was being who I thought everyone else wanted me to be. I realized that I wasn’t living for me, I was living for the approval of others.
Over time, I started asking myself: What if I lived authentically? What would it feel like to let go of the need to please and embrace my true self—no filters, no adjustments, just me?
Living authentically has been one of the most liberating choices I’ve made, but it wasn’t easy. Here’s how I started letting go of the need to please and began living more authentically:
1. I Got Honest with Myself
The first step was realizing that I was living for others, not for me. I started questioning why I did the things I did. Was I saying yes because I truly wanted to, or because I didn’t want to disappoint someone? Was I dressing a certain way because it was “me,” or because I was trying to fit into someone else’s idea of “perfect”? When I began to ask myself these hard questions, I started uncovering the parts of myself I had been hiding.
2. I Let Go of the Fear of Disappointing Others
I spent so much of my life fearing that if I didn’t meet everyone else’s expectations, I’d be rejected or unloved. But the truth is, I can’t please everyone, and that’s okay. Once I realized that I’m not responsible for other people’s happiness, I freed myself from that burden. I let go of the fear that disappointing others would mean I wasn’t worthy of love and acceptance.
3. I Embraced My True Feelings
For years, I kept my true feelings under wraps. I’d smile and nod even when something didn’t sit right with me. But learning to live authentically meant honoring my feelings, even if they were uncomfortable. I started speaking up when something bothered me, saying no when I needed to, and sharing my true thoughts—without apologizing for them. It felt uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it became empowering.
4. I Set Boundaries
Living authentically meant learning to say no. I had to stop overcommitting myself just to please others and start prioritizing my own needs. Setting boundaries wasn’t easy, especially when I felt like I was letting people down. But I realized that by saying no to things that didn’t align with who I am, I was saying yes to my own happiness and well-being.
5. I Celebrated My Uniqueness
For so long, I tried to fit in. I thought there was something wrong with me if I wasn’t like everyone else. But over time, I started embracing what made me different. I learned to celebrate my quirks, my opinions, and the things that make me who I am. Authenticity isn’t about fitting into a mold—it’s about breaking it.
Living authentically isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. It’s about giving yourself permission to be who you truly are, without the fear of rejection or judgment. It’s about listening to your heart, trusting your instincts, and honoring your needs.
The truth is, when I stopped living for others and started living for me, I felt a sense of peace and freedom I hadn’t experienced before. It wasn’t about being perfect—it was about being real.
So, if you’re tired of living to please others and want to start living authentically, I encourage you to take that first step. Let go of the need to meet everyone else’s expectations, and start listening to the voice inside of you. It’s the only one that truly matters.
