The Art of Self-Soothing: Finding Comfort in Your Own Company

Let’s be real for a second—life can be a little, well, chaotic. There are moments when the world feels like it’s spinning just a little too fast, and we find ourselves desperately searching for something, anything, to bring us back to a sense of calm. Maybe we reach for a cozy blanket, a cup of tea, or the infamous “comfort food” (hello, pizza). But what happens when none of those things are around, or we’re feeling like a walking, talking stress ball in need of immediate rescue?

Enter self-soothing—the fine art of finding comfort within yourself when everything around you seems to be in turmoil. Now, I know, it sounds a little woo-woo or “New Age,” but hear me out. The real magic happens when we start to realize that we, and only we, are the ones who can calm our own inner storm.

Self-soothing isn’t just about escaping the chaos (though let’s be real, we all need an escape now and then). It’s about learning to show up for yourself when you need it most, to be the loving, kind presence that you deserve. It’s about tapping into your inner resources, whether it’s through a few deep breaths, reminding yourself of your strengths, or having that “I’ve got this” conversation with yourself in the mirror (yes, even if you’re wearing pajama pants and your hair is in a bun).

It’s easy to look for comfort outside of ourselves—whether it’s in a friend’s hug, a glass of wine, or binge-watching your favorite show until 2 a.m. But the most powerful and lasting comfort comes from within. Think of it like being your own best friend. Sure, your best friend might give you a hug, but YOU can be the one to give yourself that same care when no one else is around.

So how do we do this? How do we become our own source of comfort in a world that often feels too loud, too fast, and too much?

First things first—acknowledge your feelings. So often, we’re told to “just push through” or “keep going,” but allowing ourselves to feel what we’re feeling is step one in the self-soothing process. Whether it’s stress, frustration, sadness, or just plain over it, it’s important to give yourself permission to experience it. You are human, and being human is messy. It’s okay to not be okay.

Next, practice compassion. Imagine that you’re talking to a friend who’s going through what you’re experiencing. What would you say to them? More likely than not, you’d be gentle, encouraging, and kind. Well, guess what? You can do that for yourself, too. Be your own cheerleader. You’ve got this, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

And finally, find your “calm spot.” This is the place—real or imagined—where you go to recharge. It could be a favorite spot in your home, a mental image of a peaceful beach, or even just a deep, mindful breath. Whenever life gets overwhelming, take a moment to retreat to this space. Give yourself the time and space to reconnect with your calm, your peace, and your center.

Here’s the thing about self-soothing: It’s not about perfection. It’s not about magically feeling better in an instant. It’s about giving yourself a little love and care when you need it most, learning to comfort yourself without relying on external sources. And the more you practice, the better you get at it. Eventually, you’ll find that you don’t need to search for comfort in all the usual places—you’ve got it right within you.

So, the next time the world feels a little too overwhelming, take a deep breath, give yourself a hug (yes, literally or figuratively), and remind yourself: You’ve got this. You are enough. You are worthy of your own love and comfort.

Self-soothing isn’t just an art—it’s a practice in self-love, patience, and resilience. And trust me, you’re an expert in the making. ✨