The Role of Forgiveness in Emotional Healing

Forgiveness. It’s such a powerful word, but for the longest time, it felt impossible for me. The hardest part wasn’t forgiving others—it was forgiving myself.

There have been so many times when I’ve been so mad at myself that I could feel the anger bubbling over. Mistakes I’ve made, things I’ve said or didn’t say, times I didn’t show up as my best self—they play on repeat in my mind, and I spiral into this pit of guilt and frustration.

But when I slow down, take a deep breath, and remind myself that I’m only human, something shifts. That’s when I remember forgiveness isn’t about being perfect; it’s about letting go.

Forgiveness as a Process

Forgiveness is not something you wake up one day and decide to do, and poof—it’s done. It’s messy, uncomfortable, and far from linear. Some days, I feel like I’ve moved on, only to find those old feelings creeping back in. But each time, I remind myself that it’s a process, not a finish line.

For me, forgiveness starts with sitting with my emotions, no matter how ugly they feel. I have to acknowledge my mistakes and the pain they’ve caused—not to dwell on them, but to understand them.

Then comes the hard part: shifting my perspective. I’ve realized that mistakes don’t define me. They’re part of being human, part of learning. Instead of tearing myself down for what I got wrong, I try to see how those moments can help me grow.

Letting Go of Resentment

Letting go of resentment, especially toward myself, is the most freeing thing I’ve ever done. I used to hold onto guilt like it was some sort of penance, thinking that if I punished myself enough, it would make things right. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

Forgiving myself doesn’t mean I forget the lessons. It means I stop letting the weight of my past hold me back. It means I stop carrying anger at myself for not being perfect, for being human.

How Forgiveness Feels

When I finally forgive myself, it feels like taking a deep breath after holding it in for way too long. It’s like dropping a heavy bag I didn’t even realize I was carrying. It’s not just relief—it’s freedom.

There’s a lightness that comes with forgiveness, a quiet reassurance that I don’t have to have it all figured out right now. I’m allowed to make mistakes. I’m allowed to learn from them. And I’m allowed to forgive myself and move on.

What I’ve Learned

If I’ve learned anything about forgiveness, it’s this: it’s a choice I have to make every day. Some days, the guilt sneaks back in, and I have to remind myself—again—that I’m worthy of forgiveness.

And here’s the truth: so are you.

We all mess up. We all have those moments we wish we could take back. But you don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love, especially your own. Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting what happened; it’s about choosing to stop letting it control your life.

So, if you’re reading this and holding onto something—anger, guilt, resentment—I hope you’ll give yourself permission to let it go. You’re human. You’re learning. You’re growing.

And trust me when I say this: the moment you forgive yourself, you’ll feel freer than you ever thought possible.